


A Guide to Inter-Realm Relations

by avarand



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Arranged Marriage, BAMF Tony Stark, F/F, F/M, Finding Family, Homophobia, Howard's F- Parenting, M/M, Odin's A+ Parenting, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Science Bros, Tony Needs a Hug, You can be BAMF and need a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-06-15 08:32:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15409059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avarand/pseuds/avarand
Summary: Thor is, as always, the Universe’s aggressive almost-too-big-to-still-be-a-puppy-puppy. The kind that eats your drywall. Loki ends up in an arranged marriage as a result. Assuming Thanos doesn't kill them all first.





	1. Plans Unraveling

**Author's Note:**

> So I keep trying to post this and it either posts 5 times or gets deleted. So here goes. Again. First chapter is more of a prologue and later chapters will be longer. Feedback fuels me better than coffee.

Loki had only barely been aware that Thor and his lot were invading Midgard. It was a small, insignificant realm, barely possessed of enough magic to properly exist. Unlike Jotunheim or one of the other major realms, that would have been a challenge. His brother hadn’t even demanded that Loki go with them. Real warriors or sorcerers would have been interesting. Frost giants were both and might have been entertaining, but invading Midgard was essentially bored children putting insects under a magnifying glass. 

 

Or so he’d thought. So he’d remained engrossed with manipulating a council of Vanaheim traders into a deal that greatly favored Asgard. Favored in the sense of ongoing sessions that were as tedious as they were pointless so that Vanaheim wouldn’t even care that it would be sacrificing an arcane magic tome older than their Realm. 

When the Allfather had summoned Court to sanction Thor for his actions days later, Loki had been as shocked as anyone. Thor was never punished for his impulses and the few dozen mortals he’d killed hardly mattered to Aesir. Yet Odin had gone as far as to delay Thor’s coronation indefinitely. Usually such news would make Loki giddy for months, but getting this kind of good news too easily was always a sign that the Allfather had other plans in motion. His brother was to be stripped of his Aesir magic, little though he had, his precious hammer, and sent to live among the mortals of Midgard as one of them to learn the error of his ways. Loki almost felt sorry for the oaf. Everyone knew the inhabitants of Midgard were barely above making fire.

But still, he wondered what their father was playing at. Odin always had something in the works. 

Loki offered the customary goodbyes to his brother, sure that Thor would be back in no time once more wielding his precious hammer. In fact Loki secretly looked forward to a few months of interrupted time in the library without the Warriors Three making noise. Unfortunately Odin was planning something. Something that had been a long time in the making and which Thor’s rash actions had only expedited. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thor had hardly left on the bifrost mere days ago when Loki was summoned to his mother’s chambers. Normally this wasn’t out of the ordinary, but something prickled at the back of Loki’s neck. Odin had been too preoccupied and his mother along with him. Reluctantly Loki put down the tome he’d gained in the trade with Vanaheim and crossed the castle to his mother’s rooms. 

Frigga was waiting for him in her parlor, tea already poured and her silver hair perfectly styled as always. However a tightness about her eyes belied her mood. 

 

“Mother,” the God of Mischief greeted. “You called for me.” 

“Indeed I did, my son. Sit. We have much to discuss and unfortunately time will be of the essence in the coming months.” 

Rarely were either of Loki’s parents so straight forward. Indeed, Thor was the only member of the royal family who was direct about anything, and that usually involved a weapon. 

“Thor and his friends have done more damage than they know, my son. And fixing it will not be a simple task.” 

 

That was certainly unexpected. “Mother, I understand my brother has always been prone to act rashly, but Midgard is of little consequence. They hold no power among the Nine.” 

Frigga sighed, crystal blue eyes showing exhaustion. “Loki, Midgard does not have the political power or magics of the other realms, but they are not without importance. Your father was hoping it would be many years yet before attention was drawn to that world, but now there is nothing to be done for it except to move forward.” 

“I’m afraid I’m at a loss. What about Midgard could possibly be important? Is Thor safe?” Loki may have resented his older brother at times but he loved him. If Thor was in danger…

 

“I assure you, Thor is safe, if not confused by his current position. We...I...have hidden much from many about Midgard. It was good strategy to relegate it as some back water realm from which nothing could be gained. But Odin has long known what it truly is. Whether we did the right thing in obscuring this for so long I do not know. But you, as a Prince of Asgard and future advisor to the king, must know.” Frigga reached across the table to gently hold her son’s hand. “Loki, Midgard is many things we made it out to be. Inhabited by beings with hardly any magic among them. A place in peril from its own people as they use its resources blindly. But it is more. It is a gateway. Midgard is the only place from which not only all Nine Realms may be reached, but Yggdrasil as well.” 

 

Stunned, Loki pulled his hand back. “You must be joking! It’s impossible that one place would allow access to all the known Nine and the Great Tree herself! If that is so then why have we not taken it?! A place so crucial that cannot protect itself would need the Aesir!” Loki’s head was spinning. This had to be a trick, a lie of some sort. 

“I’m afraid it’s very much true,” Frigga continued. “As for why we have not...intervened on Midgard’s behalf, we believed that ignoring it so that others would follow suit was the best plan in the long term. But with Thor’s latest stunt, other eyes will be drawn to it and it will only be a matter of time before they look more closely.” 

 

Green eyes narrowed. “Father had a reason for sending Thor there besides punishment.” 

Frigga allowed herself a small smile. “My son, ever the strategist. Yes, undoubtedly while your brother navigates Midgard he will learn of its people, their strengths and weaknesses. Information we are sure to need in the years to come if we’re to stave off any other would-be conquerors.” 

“You sent Thor ‘punch first, ask questions later’ to gather intel about a crucial point in the universe?!” 

Loki’s mother had a charming laugh even when she was anxious. “Your brother has an almost uncanny ability to make allies. However that was not the extent of our plan, no. We will need more permanent liaisons with Midgard. Once Thor has redeemed himself and can tell us what he knows, we will focus on those permanent bonds.” 

 

The God of Mischief pondered the options. Normally treaties or marriage would be the path to long term allyship, but that wouldn’t be possible with mortals. Perhaps a long-standing military alliance. Afterall, a handful of those mortals had repelled Thor and his friends. Perhaps they weren’t totally useless. 

“There’s something you’re not telling me, Mother.” 

The Queen’s face took on a dour expression. “There is. Before I had even thought of meeting Odin, he was involved with a matter involving the Titans. One Titan in particular nearly destroyed Asgard and Vanaheim on his own. He was exiled, which required the help of not only Bor and Odin but of all the ruling Titans. Sent beyond the reach of the Nine Realms, he was doomed to wander, rejected by Death. But there have been whispers from outside the Nine. Whispers of an ancient god on a quest to destroy everything in his path. I don’t know if these are true or even if they indeed refer to the Mad Titan whose name we do not speak. But should he learn of what Midgard is…” 

 

Loki shuddered. It was unlikely but it was also a concept beyond horror. Nothingness where the Nine had been. 

“You seek intel in hopes of...preparing for this possible invader?” 

“Preparing, avoiding, deterring. Whatever the situation calls for. For now we wait to see what your brother might learn. And then we will decide next steps. We may need you in a vital capacity to protect Midgard and the Nine.” 

“Of course, Mother. If this threat proves true, I will do anything Asgard requires of me.” 

Another one of his mother’s sad smiles. “My son, there is more I need to tell you. However I think we both have enough to think on for the moment. Know that I am always proud of you and I love you so very much.” 

 

“I have always known these things, Mother.” 

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pop-Tarts! Coffee! Granted the ale left something to be desired but still. Such inventions had never been considered on Asgard. Thor felt increasingly horrible for slaughtering these creatures for fun. Humans weren’t warriors who lusted for battle but they were so alive, chasing a million different pursuits. 

And the unlikely friends he’d made in Lady Jane and Lady Darcy were most welcomed. Even if they seemed horrified by his behavior at times. Lady Darcy had a wit that could rival Sif’s. It was a shame she hadn’t also been trained as a warrior. But Lady Jane. He’d never met anyone like her in his long life. She was at the top of her field, studying stars and planets and tracking their movements. On Asgard women might be healers, there were of course the Valkyrie, and the odd warrior like Sif, but not...engineers, forgers, discoverers of new knowledge. Lady Jane was small and vulnerable but seemed to revel in how large the world around her was. And she was kind. Thor was a prince and had of course known kindness, but most often only because someone wanted his favor. Jane seemed to find his royal status amusing more than anything. 

He found himself discussing his...transgressions against those of Midgard in Lady Jane’s apartment not long after finding himself on the planet with no powers. 

“So you killed a bunch of soldiers just because you were bored?!” Perhaps he shouldn’t have told her of his actions. “A bunch of soldiers who had partners and children and lives!” 

 

“Is that not what your military does?” The blonde asked, genuinely confused.

 

“No! Well, sometimes, but it’s not right then either! Life has meaning! Maybe you get thousands of years but we get a eight decades if we’re lucky. We’ve done terrible things to each other but that doesn’t make it okay for you to just smack us down like insects because you can!” 

The God of Thunder felt like the small woman had struck a nasty blow to his gut. Mere decades to squeeze love and pain and understanding into and he had taken those. 

“We weren’t even doing anything to you!” Jane continued. “If you had attacked civilians instead of soldiers there’s no telling how many people you could have killed!” 

Thor looked down at the strange floor covering in Jane’s quarters. “I will go. I am truly sorry for the hurt I have caused you and your people. I...I don’t know a way of life that is not a warrior’s. I thought to impress my father by showing that I could...it matters not. My brother was right. I am an overeager child in these matters. It did not occur to me that Midgard was so full of such life, even as it iis brief. I will go.” 

Lady Jane deflated. “I didn’t say I was kicking you out. You’re an alien. One who screwed up, but still one the government would love to get its hands on and I can’t let that happen. Plus it’s not like you don’t have a conscience. God knows we humans kill each other all the time over stupid misunderstandings. But we’re laying ground rules.” 

 

This small woman was going to establish rules for him?

“Number one: No killing or maiming unless it’s in self-defense. Self-defense meaning someone is trying to kill you, not that you just think you might be in danger. Number two: Keep a low profile. You need to look like you fit in here so we’ll take you shopping for some new clothes. Number three: No throwing things. You terrified that poor waitress. On Earth we ask if we can please have another if we like something. We don’t hurl objects at wait staff. Number four: I don’t care if you’re royalty or a warrior. You will treat people with respect. It doesn’t matter if someone is serving you food or has more degrees than I do. Be nice. Clear?” 

 

He wasn’t being kicked out for killing members of this woman’s military? For frightening humans needlessly? A sensation like he’d never felt before flooded his veins. It wasn’t blood lust but it was warm, heady, and very much connected to the pair of deep brown eyes in front of him. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It had been months and neither Loki or Frigga had much news of Thor. Heimdall was only able to provide a few facts. Thor was doing well, spending time primarily with three mortals, and well...keeping out of trouble. Which was all well and good for Thor, but not for moving a defensive plan along. 

So Loki found himself once again in his mother’s quarters. However this time Odin was there as well. 

“Father, Mother,” Loki bowed. “I take it this concerns my brother’s time on Midgard?” 

 

“It does,” Odin answered. “I did not think it would take him so long to encounter a threat and prove himself. And now Alfheim is curious as to what my son is doing there. It’s imperative that Thor regain his powers and return as soon as possible. Heimdall has informed me that Warriors Three and Sif plan to take the bifrost and recover their brother-in-arms.”   
Loki raised an immaculate eyebrow. “And you wish to use this to somehow draw Thor out and against a foe?”

“I do. And not any foe will do. I will allow Heimdall to activate the bifrost, but I will send the Destroyer after them so they may lead it to Thor.” 

 

Fear seized Loki’s chest. The Destroyer? The Warriors would be crushed and Thor stood no chance against the construct without his powers or Mjollnir. Of course he had long taught himself to not betray any emotion to his father. 

“And what if the Destroyer is too effective, my King?” 

Odin waved a hand dismissively. “I will not allow my first born to be killed so crassly. I will keep watch and intervene if necessary, declaring your brother’s sins atoned for if need be. This will also show Midgard that they have much to fear. It will make them more amenable to treating with us.” 

Loki didn’t voice it, but he knew his father also meant ‘more amenable to submitting to our rule if they are scared’. He opted for nodding as though in agreement. 

“I have business to attend to, but your mother would speak with you.” With that Odin kissed his wife’s hand and left the Queen’s rooms. 

 

“Dare I ask what else we must discuss besides the Destroyer being let loose on a primitive world?” Loki sighed. 

Frigga gave a tired smile and sat on her couch, gesturing for her son to follow. 

“Regardless of how you or I may feel about your father’s plan, it is a shrewd one with many possible advantages for the protection of Midgard.” 

 

“But that is not what you wish to speak to me of.” Something cold settled in Loki’s stomach. Whatever the topic was, it was worse than an ancient construct being unleashed. 

“Loki, I told you months ago that you will always be my son and I will always love you and take pride in your accomplishments. I- There comes a point where certain things must either be revealed willingly and painfully or discovered by accident and made much more painful.” 

The cold feeling was back in the young god’s stomach. “Mother?” 

“Family is not only blood, Loki. Family is love, experience, and choice. Odin and I never intended to lie to you. Please do not see it as that. But if Midgard may be at the heart of the kind of conflict we most dread, it is vital that we remain loyal as a family. You, little one of Chaos, are my son. But I did not birth you.” 

He couldn’t have heard that right. However Frigga continued. 

“During the last conflict with the Jotun, Odin found you. A small baby all alone in a temple. Peace had just been reached and as a gesture of kindness and good will, he picked you up. Your blue skin turned Aesir white and he could not put you down. He returned to Asgard with you and we raised you as our own, rather than leave you on a dying realm.” Tears streamed down Frigga’s cheeks. “Please, I am so sorry we did not tell you sooner. But you are our son.” 

Rage and cold and fear. That was all the young god could process. “Hundreds of years! Hundreds! And you didn’t once think I deserved to know! A lifetime of being different and you knew why but refused to tell me!?” Perhaps his mother didn’t deserve this kind of anger but he had to let it out. His magic crackled all around him. 

“Loki, I am so sorry! Odin forbid me from telling you and Thor does not know. Please!” 

“Thor-You tell me now because it may be advantageous for Midgard’s protection. A Jotun ward to speak with the few remaining clans there. A politically advantageous move, I admit.” He said grimly. 

“Loki, that is not what you are to us!” 

 

But he could hear no more. With a thought he teleported himself to his own quarters where he smashed everything not magically protected. He beat his fists bloody against the walls and screamed himself hoarse. Then he laughed, because what did it matter? It would all be fixed by servants in the morning. He would still be Loki Noson. A false Prince, a monster to be used as a bartering chip when the time was right. 

Or. 

Or he could remind himself of who, if not what he was. He had never been passive in the most important matters in his life. Thor was in danger, or would be soon. And as easy as it would be to believe that his brother was complicit in the lie that was his life, he knew in his heart that Thor was not. If Odin would send the Destroyer after someone he loved, he would fight back and take pride in thwarting the old meddler’s plans. It wouldn’t be easy, but Loki had his wits, his magic, and his status as Prince. He would bide his time and go to Midgard, save his brother, and expose his father’s lies. And who knew. If he was not a son of Asgard, perhaps he could make a name for himself as a King of Midgard.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Tony had honestly thought that the strangest moment in his life would be meeting a de-thawed Captain America. The same one he may or may not have jerked off to as a teen. (The real deal was way more boring. Plus the Howard baggage. Ugh.) But no. Now there were aliens. Well, there was a very respected astrophysicist and her snarky assistant insisting that the giant blonde in the room was an alien. And a prince. And science help him, they, along with the SHIELD spooks, made a compelling case. 

So he was in a conference room of Stark Tower with Capsicle, Dr. Foster, Sidekick Sarcasm, Fury, Agent Coulson, and a disturbingly muscled blonde man being briefed on the situation. Said blonde was apparently Thor of Norse reputation, though currently without any powers, thunder, or trademark hammer. 

“I am on your realm to make amends,” the blonde stated. “I foolishly attacked a military base some months ago and now wish to make what reparations I can. Lady Jane tells me that SHIELD is a most noble force and I would align myself with it.” 

Tony felt a migraine coming on. “Look, Point Break. I don’t know how things are run on Asgard, but Earth is not a kingdom. We’re not one big united front. We’re usually at each other’s throats most of the time, and that’s when something isn’t threatening our planet. Joining SHIELD won’t erase the fact that you took innocent lives. Trust me, I know a thing or two about that. That said, we’d be stupid to turn you down. Now. How do we get your mojo back?” 

Hours later, Capsicle, Thor, Dr. Foster, and Darcy were all settled into their now at least semi-permanent quarters at Stark Tower. Tony flippantly thought that if Pepper was no longer using any of the extra space, they may as well. Pepper. Wow. His ex/still-CEO was going to have an aneurysm over this situation. 

It was late which meant it was the perfect time for Tony to indulge himself in some Scotch at his private bar in the Penthouse. Aliens. Capsicle in his home. Some days he really regretted ever having anything to do with SHIELD. None of this was a coincidence and he could feel something big on the horizon. His arc-reactor casing ached more than normal as though it could sense it coming like a far off storm. Thor may seem like a guilty labrador retriever but there was more to it than that. Never take anyone at face value was the hard lesson he’d learned. Somewhere strings were being pulled and he’d be damned if he didn’t anticipate the pulling.


	2. A Search Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me over a month to update. New job, realizing this is...way too close to my other FrostIron fic thematically, etc. Wanted this chapter to be longer but it also took me some pleasant places I wasn't expecting. It got GAYER! Anyway, hope you enjoy and feedback is much appreciated.

It wasn’t difficult to learn when exactly the Destroyer would be sent to Midgard. Loki still wasn’t speaking to his mother but she was letting information slip to him through her favored servants as an act of amends. He’d hardly be accepting any apologies soon but getting his plans in motion quickly took precedence. Plus he doubted that if she knew the extent of his plans, Frigga would still be offering ways to intervene. 

In two weeks’ time the Warriors Three and Sif planned to go after their friend and leader and the Destroyer would be sent no more than a week after them. 

Two weeks was plenty of time to track his brother down. Once he had done so it would be easy to turn his brother’s mind against Odin by warning him of the Destroyer and how Odin planned to grant him forgiveness even if it wasn’t earned. Loki would help him defeat the thing, and they’d be more united for having done it without the Allfather’s machinations. From there it would be a thing of ease to convince Thor that they should rule Midgard. No one else could protect it like they could afterall. And let Odin Allfather watch his sons unite against him and prove to the Nine that they had acted on knowledge to protect Yggdrasil herself. It would prove them, prove himself, worthy to rule any realm. And Asgard was so dull. A new kingdom might entertain him for a bit. 

Packing the last of what he planned to take with him into a pocket dimension, the Trickster God vanished from the palace of Asgard and the view of Heimdall. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tony wasn’t sure what his life was becoming. He seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time hanging out with a depowered deity though. Thor was bored what with their special club not having any threats available for him to prove himself. He’d been at Stark Tower for a week and aside from training with the Cap a lot, he didn’t have much to do aside from accidentally break a lot of Tony’s stuff. He wasn’t as dumb as Tony had first assumed. He knew enough about the general concepts of science to get some of what he and Jane talked about. And that. Thor stared at Jane like a kid with his first crush. Which led to his current situation. 

Thor was sprawled across Tony’s penthouse couch, very drunk after consuming more expensive Scotch than Tony thought any being with a liver should imbibe, asking him about said pretty genius. To top it off, Thor’s head was in Tony’s lap and while normally a hot blond having their head on his lap meant sexy times, this was just embarrassing. Casual touching was a no-go for Tony for lots of reasons yet there was no getting it through the god’s very heavy skull that he didn’t like it. So Tony felt like a cat being picked up against its will in his own home. 

“Stark!” Thor wailed into his thigh. “What must I do? Jane. She is...perfect. Yet I could not leave my duties on Asgard for her.” Tony hoped he hadn’t actually started crying under all that hair. 

“Okay, big guy. First thing’s first. If you’re King soon, can’t you pretty much do what you want? Plus she’s an astrophysicist. I’m pretty sure seeing another world is high on her list of priorities.” 

“It could take years! I know not when the crown will be mine, nor that it should be. Less than five mortals in existence have been made Aesir.” Christ, hundreds of years of life and only a few weeks got him this worked up over a woman? Granted beautiful geniuses were hard to come by but this just wasn’t dignified. 

“Buddy, have you even kissed her? Also I am not the one to be asking about this. Seriously, Cap did the whole courting thing, not me.” 

That finally got the man to sit up with a puzzled frown. “Lady Darcy told me you have an excellent reputation in such matters.” 

Sipping his own Scotch Tony laughed. “I’m gonna guess that’s your wording and not hers. I don’t do dating or courting or whatever serious stuff is. I tried it once, it didn’t work out. I go out, I approach or get approached by someone, and if we’re both interested, we fuck, and then they leave. Or I do. Usually before both parties have all their clothes back on.” 

Bafflement turned to astonishment. “You engage with people sexually and it never means anything?” 

“I told you, talk to Cap about this. And how are you close to like a thousand without having run into this issue before?” 

“How could it when I am a Prince and Son of Odin?”

Tony decided he needed to top his glass off. Savoring the smooth burn of the scotch, he asked a question he knew he’d regret getting the answer to. “How does that work against you here? Do women on Asgard not throw themselves at buff Princes?” 

“There is flirtation of course, but I am to carry on the lineage of the Allfather’s house. It would be disgraceful to allow a...distraction to that.” The inventor noticed a distinct, non-alcohol influenced blush on his the god’s face. Oh no. Did he really mean…? 

“I swear to science, Thor, are you telling me you’ve never once had sex with someone?” 

“I am not some commoner who engages in meaningless sex! And my future bride will also have expectations of chastity and fidelity!” 

“I’m not a commoner, Pikachu. And now seriously, please, have this talk with Steve. Or Darcy. Or even JARVIS.” 

“Do you think so lowly of the women you bed?” Thor asked, honest to gods perplexion on his features. 

“No! And not all my partners are women. Look, sex here isn’t seen as something bad or that you can only do with one person. Hell, there are some rich and royal people on this planet who have adopted kids or taken lovers outside of marriage publicly. The dominant culture here doesn’t really get that worked up about it. People who care that much about who other people are consensually fucking are considered dull.” 

“How do you have...partners who are not women?” 

“They’re men. It’s pretty simple. Or sometimes nonbinary maybe? I don’t know, gender isn’t usually the driving factor in my decision to sleep with someone.” 

“But how-”

“No. Absolutely not. Not explaining how sex between men works to you. I have never in my life been ashamed about this topic, but you are making me extremely uncomfortable. Now do you want to keep watching Star Trek or not?” 

Thor nodded numbly and Tony thanked his lucky stars. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Days later the engineer was neck deep in a project to enhance the capacity of his suits to absorb electricity when JARVIS announced Darcy coming in with coffee. Darcy made the best coffee. She was basically made of black coffee and sarcasm herself and Tony was considering adoption. 

“Thanks, kiddo,” he threw out absently as she set the mug down next to his Stark Pad. 

“Jane’s in her lab and Thor is sparring Steve to try and work out his frustration of having it bad for a mortal or whatever. His puppy eyes are pathetic but they’re both in the gym and wrestling shirtless. Think JARVIS can get some video of that for me?” 

“I would not infringe on the privacy of a guest unless there was a threat,” JARVIS replied. “I am also aware of Ms. Lewis’ attempts to ‘break the internet’ with illicit material.” 

“Aw, I wouldn’t actually do that, J. I mean super double secret government thing or whatever.” 

Tony had to approve of the ambition though. “I don’t know JARVIS, maybe a couple still frames to use as blackmail if I need to deter Thor from asking me about Midgardian courtship again.” 

The squealing startled the inventor but the look of malicious glee on the kid’s face was worth it. 

“So how’d you end up interning with the world’s foremost astrophysicists if that’s not your deal? There are students who would probably literally kill to work with Jane Foster.” 

Darcy shifted her weight a bit, folding her arms over her chest. “Kinda worked out that Jane didn’t want to work with a fan and I needed a science credit not in my field. Then ya know...we found a Norse deity and a shadowy organization now knows everything about us and we’re sworn to secrecy and all.” 

“Did they actually tell you you can’t leave?” 

“No. I was bored with school anyway. Computer science was something I’ve been good at since kindergarten. Wasn’t learning a whole lot from them and I’m not gonna take out another loan to be taught at something I’ve always taught myself anyway. Plus. Aliens. Stark Tower. Way more fun than frat boys and 8am classes.” 

A tech kid? Maybe he would adopt her. “How good are you then?” 

“I mean I didn’t build an AI at seventeen but I am good enough to not have to care very much about those student loans.” 

“Not bad. Creative problem solving is the best part of it. Head’s up though. If SHIELD tries to recruit you don’t do it. They don’t employ people, they own them. Impress me and I’ll give you a job you won’t have to sacrifice your identity for.” 

Darcy grinned, dark eyes glowing brightly. “Challenge accepted.” 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Getting to Midgard was easy enough. Navigating it though...Loki had landed near a Ley Line in the country where his brother was. That had been easy enough. He was in a village of some sort called New Jersey. Information about his brother’s first visit to the planet was well documented, but his banishment wasn’t. He was frequently stared at here but he had no interest in fitting into a world he’d soon rule. 

The population was surprisingly advanced though. Their communication devices were something of a marvel, honestly. They lacked magic but could communicate with each other instantaneously from great distances. He’d only been on Midgard a few hours, waiting as his magic recharged so he could readily locate Thor. Walking between realms wasn’t unheard of but it was exhausting. 

So to kill time he set about finding information on his brother through other means. Some barely magical suggestion had granted him access to a device called a computer. However the device was hardly intuitive. Searching for his brother through it provided far too many results, many of which couldn’t be plausible. He had convinced a mortal to abandon their computer to him and had been set at his quest for some hours when a young woman approached him. She seemed barely more than a child but something about the look in her eyes spoke of usefulness to him. 

“Hey, Ren Fair, think you could take this to a convention or something? This a Starbucks for fuck’s sake.” 

Even with Allspeak Loki could barely comprehend the gist of her statement. Murder was not a good way to start an inquiry while his magic was still recharging. 

“Excuse me. If you take issue with my actions, it would better serve you to do so directly.” 

The girl’s expression shifted slightly. She had just learned something or guessed at it and he didn’t like it. 

“Yeah, so it’s like this. You’re digging into a recent phenomenon that’s been pretty hush-hush at ALL levels if you get my drift. And you’re doing it from a public Wi-Fi connection. Meaning you don’t know what you’re doing or what’s at stake. And I know Newark is weird, but this green S&M look you got going is weird even for here. You’ve got less than half an hour before some spook realizes who you’re looking for and tries to take you into custody.” 

“If anyone tries I will-”

“You’ll totally show your hand is what you’ll do,” the girl said lowly, only for his ears. Then she changed her pitch and tone dramatically. “It’s SO good to meet someone from the forums in real life! If we head out we can totally make it to the convention in time for the meet and greet!” The dourness from before was gone, leaving only a shallow if unsettling farce of cheer and camaraderie. “And I drove in anyway so traffic will be no prob!” 

Loki was no fool. The message clearly read ‘I know something you don’t and how to get it, so come with me.’ It wasn’t nothing. And anyway this was just some slip of a mortal girl. He could easily get rid of her if she posed a problem to his plans. 

“Of course, lead the way.” He gave his most fearsome smile, bearing as many teeth as possible. 

The girl took his arm (the nerve!) and moments later they were in what she called a van. Before he could make demands she was speaking to him. 

“This place is like Fort Knox on wheels. No one can eavesdrop here. My name’s Skye, no it’s not the one I was born with and you’re not getting that one anyway. You’re looking for a recent visitor to Earth. Hell, you look like you might know him. Big guy, blond, landed and was whisked away. No one knows where he is. Except me. So why are you here and what do you want him for?” 

Loki was briefly speechless. This ridiculous...Skye person had rooted out his intent so quickly? And made him aware of it discreetly. For now it seemed best to play along. 

“This visitor is important to me. I must find him. And I will do so with or without your aid.” 

The girl snorted. “Uh-huh. You were totally about to get shown out to a van not as nice as this one by a bunch of people in badly cut suits who would all be carrying weapons. Maybe you can find your buddy on your own, but you won’t find him faster than with me.” 

“And why would I want your help?” 

The girl grinned. “Because I know things. Not just where he is, but who he’s with. And those suits who were gonna come for you? They want me too. I propose a temporary alliance. I get you to your friendo. Thor, right? Deity who's MIA? We help each other out. Shouldn’t take more than a few days. When we find him, we can renogotiate our deal as temporary allies. The people he’s with might not be trustworthy. And I know how they work because they’ve tried to recruit me. Look, I get it. Mutants, AIs, not being alone in the universe, it’s happening. And information is power. I get you access, you help get me intel, and we both benefit.” 

The girl made sense but something about her infuriated Loki nonetheless, made him want to lash out. 

“You have no idea what I am or of what I am capable. You pathetic mortal, seeking to strike deals with gods-” 

“Yeah, don’t care. Kind of an atheist actually. Call yourself a god if you want. Authority is meaningless to me unless I can use it to get what I want. Do you accept my deal or not?” 

Looking around the ‘van’, it’s cramped quarters and stench of stale food, Loki reconsidered just what he knew about Midgard.


End file.
